Best decade yet

Ten years ago today, I walked into Blue Ribbon Bakery, on Downing Street in Manhattan, for a first date with the man who would become my husband.

I’ve always distrusted the bubbling attraction we call chemistry. Our hormones and viscera are outside our control, and are untrustworthy arbiters of mate selection. Don’t choose the man you can’t resist. Choose the man you admire.

Choose the man who’s at his best when the chips are down. Choose the man who’s been tested and who always, always, always does the right thing. Choose the man who is kind, cheerful, and curious.

If you can’t resist him, so much the better.

I chose that man, and being married to him is what makes my life here possible. And not because he’s the only one who can fix the power washer. It’s because being married to him would make any life possible. It’s put solid ground under my feet. We go out into the world each day, separately or together, knowing that the foundation that is our partnership will support whatever comes.

I’ve done some unfathomably stupid things in my day.  When it really mattered, though, I chose wisely.

Happy anniversary, Kevin.

23 people are having a conversation about “Best decade yet

  1. Margaret Fisher says:

    Lovely, Tamar! You became a grownup before you married, how wise! Happy Anniversary, and many more.

  2. i’m so pleased to know you both… you’ve been one of the truly sweet parts of living on cape:)

  3. Oh how weird. Ten years ago this month I started dating Steve (don’t remember what date- just that it was April 2001), and seven months later we married.

    I guess April ten years ago was a good time to find the right guy!

    I love your wedding picture, and congratulations on ten years!

  4. You won’t believe that I sent my congratulatory e-mail without having read your post. That we used a lot of the same words is either a sign of the scary power of genetics or that your marriage inspires the same enthusiasm (well, maybe not quite the same) in me as in you. As I said before, you both chose wisely. Love to you both and many happy returns of the day.

  5. Beautiful! That just made my day. Obviously you each have made many days for each-other. I wish you many more!

  6. I’ve read this piece three times now, and while the first time I was mainly struck by how well it aligned with how I see you and Kevin and your marriage, later readings impressed me with what a killer writer you’ve become. Congratulations on all counts.

  7. You could have said he was the wind beneath your wings, and didn’t, so there’s that. And you defied overwhelming odds by marrying someone I can not only tolerate but actually like, so there’s that too.

    Happy Anniversary.

  8. Gosh, I got all veklempt reading this post. Congratulations to you both, and here’s to many more great years.

  9. Happy Anniversary! Your post is so complete and beautiful. I am going to print it and give to my young nieces. You might want to print it off and read it on those days when you’re not feelin’ this love…. : )

  10. Happy smoochiversary, hon! Some of the most remarkable women I know have an uncanny ability to pick the best partner in life. You most certainly are a member of that group. I hope one day I’ll get to meet Mr. Kevin. As always, if you guys ever want to take a break, there is one waiting for you in Colorado with a black dog thrown in for bonus 🙂 xo

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